The Monsters Are Due on Harvey Street/Transcript


 * Dot: My fellow Streetians, every day on Harvey Street is extraordinary.

Why, just yesterday, the parrots debuted their new memoir, Polly Wants More Than A Cracker. But today is extra extraordinary, for today we finally finish the first game of Harvey Street rules kickball, when, at long last, one team hits 1,000 points! -[all cheering] -Yeah! Harvey Street! May the best team win, for in the words of our founder, Harvey Enough talking! This is supposed to be kickball, not listen-ball. But if it was, you'd be about to lose that game too. Oh, yeah? Care to make a wager? When we win, you throw us a parade, and I get to stand there and wave like this. Oh, you're on. But when we win, I get first lick on any ice cream you get for the next year and your -[Tiny] Hand! -I was gonna say crown. But a third hand could come in handy too. No, look! Where I'm pointing! [all gasp] [dramatic music] [all gasp] Someone stole Harvey E. Harveson's hand?
 * Lotta: Everybody remain calm.

The Harvey Girls got this. Hmm. I don't see any fingerprints. Mm, yeah, I don't taste any either. [smacks lips] But I do taste fear [smacks lips] terror. [smacks lips] That's it! Monsters. No. Ooh, they left a note! That's nice. "Thanks for giving us a hand. We'll be back at lunch to steal the rest of your block"? That is not nice. -[gasps] -You can steal a street? Boo! Is this a new thing people are doing that I don't know about? Whoa, hold your scaredy cats, okay? We got until lunchtime, and according to my stomach-clock [stomach grumbles] plenty of time to build monster traps, monster catapults, monster moats made of monsters on our side Still not monsters. And what we need to do is figure out who it is. You'll solve this way before lunch, Dot. Dot? [both gasp] Oh, no, the note crashed Dot! We're at problem level orange. Walk me through our clues, inner me. The statue's hand points west to the Pacific Ocean. -The Pacific Ocean extends to Australia. -No. The note was written in cursive. Cursive is used by pirates. -Pirates are -No. Fear tastes gross. Gross tastes like monsters. -Monsters want to steal our -Do not insult us, inner me. Then face it, outer me, we simply do not know. Got this. Ah! I told you, that's not a human's Control-Alt-Delete. Any idea who wants to steal our street? Yes. Why, I already have a whole list of suspects, starting with -Melvin! -Why would I steal my own street? Duh, because you live to prank. Double-duh, first rule of pranking is never prank where you eat. Fail. Who's your next suspect? Have we really considered Melvin? I'm your only suspect? The block's as good as stolen! The rest of you can stay and get stolen with it. But say good-bye to the Great Melvin. I'm gonna find a new block where that nickname will catch on. -Should I get my own block too? -I want a block better than Tiny's! There are other blocks? What? No, nobody needs to leave. We will save the block like we always do. Yeah. Yeah, when not endanger-fying this street, we are totally saving it. In the meantime, you guys should just play. [tense musical flourish] Ladies, we need to find more clues. [breathing aggressively] Stand back, girls. Tai chi is a form of martial arts. Debatable, but, Bobby, we need your big book. Oh, oh, do you mean The People's Harvestory of Harvey Street, the compendium where I keep record of everyone's every action on the block? Oh, my chi! [Audrey] Hey, maybe this is our bad guy! Is his arm even attached to a human? [Lotta] Ooh, or maybe these guys. Remember them? They seemed like they were gonna be more of a threat. Or what about Chevron, Dot's nemesis that one time? No. Chevron has an alibi. A virtual book signing on Right-Now-O-Gram. [stomach grumbles] We're running out of grumbles! Come on, book! You had to see something! Show us something, or I will make you! Ha! Yah! Rah! Whoa, Lots, we need this guy alive. Wait! There! [tense musical flourish] [gasps] Our thief! Let's chase down our lead, ladies. Um Hmm. Who do we know who's tall and covered in shadows? Looks like monsters are back on the table! Audrey, monsters aren't real. It's clearly aliens. Think about it. Who else would want to and be able to steal an entire street but aliens looking for a nice cul-de-sac to raise a family? More believable than monsters, but, no, it must be something real, something logical, something like [gasps] raccoons! This is obviously five to eight raccoons standing on each other's shoulders. We must question them as suspects! Let's do it! Even though I really lean towards Lotta's alien idea, but, hey, any excuse to yell at raccoons. [birds screeching] The raccoons! All the animals! They're leaving the park! Um, Suze, what's going on? [Audrey] You are being chased by that? It's coming this way? If the jerk raccoons are being scared away, our suspect must be even jerkier. But who's jerkier than raccoons? I hear aliens can be pretty jerky. [stomach grumbles loudly] Uh-oh. My grumbles are coming faster and louder. -We only have ten -[stomach grumbles] Ooh, nine grumbles left! We got to do something, Dot! People are starting to lose it! Buy me a new street, or eardrums will rupture. [screams] When the street gets stolen, we'll have to flee in a hurry, and there might not be room for everyone. Question is, who gets left behind? It's me, isn't it? Harvey Street, you've been so sweet But now it's time to press Delete To say good-bye and ugly cry [sobs] [gasps] Sorry, me, we got nothing. You mean "We have nothing. " No. Things are so doomed, we have even lost proper grammar. [gasps] [stomach grumbles] Got it. No one can steal our block if they can't get on our block, so Yes! We're gonna build a monster moat! -Ooh, and a monster laser too? -As always, no monsters. My fellow Streetians, our block is being taken over by an unidentified scary thing! If we must panic, I say we panic with a purpose! Let's build a trap for the alien and defend our block! [all cheering] Hey, just a thought. Instead of panicking, what if we just told the truth? No one can see this. It'll just scare people. [chomping] [all chomping] [spitting] [dramatic music] You're our eyes in the skies. If you see something, radio something. Wait for me, Dot. Now, remember, the Splashtomizer will soak anything it touches. We only detonate as a last resort. [shouts] I'd rather see Harvey Street under an ocean than get taken over by alien families! Ugh! As a safety measure, it will only pop if our three pins poke it at the same time. Good call. I would've regretted that pretty much immediately. [tense music] [demonic growl] [growls] You shot me. Good thing I'm immortal. But I am going home. [sneezes aggressively] Come back! What if we call you The Great The Bow? [sighs] Here, Dot. You dropped something that looks like important evidence you withheld from the group. [all gasp] This is the block stealer? Why were you hiding it? [gasps] OMEw, you girls are totes in cahoots with it! You trapped us so your alien BFF can steal us too! [scoffs] Maybe you're the BFF and you're trying to escape to warn them about us. Just what an alien's BFF would say! Why would we work with the aliens against Harvey Street? Duh, to avoid becoming alien pets. I don't want to be an alien pet! Unless we all are? Then I'm cool. Obviously we can't trust anyone. So I'm going to do the mature thing and hide under my blanket. Oh, come on, people! [stomach grumbles] It's lunchtime. They're near. Prepare the Splashtomizer. [gasps] Wait! Oh, I totally forgot I had scheduled the parrots for a postgame flyover. -Phew! -But look! Harvey Street is supposed to be fun, and it's definitely not the right ecosystem for tumbleweeds. If kids are not having a good time, then the street has already been stolen from us. We chose fear over fun. Maybe this was the mystery jerk's plan all along not to steal our street but to scare us into hiding as a distraction. Oh, hi, Billy. [all gasp] [gasps] Our HQ! Our tree! Our whole park! All redecorated with a tacky color palette.
 * Audrey: And park law states if you decorate something, it's yours.

Someone else has dibs on our park! [slurps] That's the taste! The taste of fear [smacks lips] is banana lip balm? [gasps] What kind of banana-lip-balm-loving lunatic would do this? Only one.
 * Audrey:(echoing) My sister!

[gasps] You have a sister?

BRB!