That Thing You Dot!/Transcript

(The episode begins with Audrey climbing up a tree.)

Dot:  "Repeat, do not jump, Audrey!"

Lotta: "It's not safe!"

Audrey: "What? Skydiving is the safest way to fall out of trees." (the ground shakes and Audrey falls down, but Lotta catches her) "Huh."

Lotta: "What is that?  It's music, but it's more shake than shimmy."

Dot: "Oh, I'd know that all-state a capella pitch anywhere."

(scene transitions to the Harvey Girls peeking out of a bush. A concert is going on with the audience full of animals, then a foot steps down, revealing to be none other than Chevron.)

Chevron:  ♫ ''Je suis trop cool pour l'anglais! Je suis trop cool pour les mots! ♫ (she starts yodeling)'

Lotta: "Hey, Dot, is that your old preschool... what's the term she used?"

Dot: "The term I use is 'frenemy'".

(Chevron is getting ready to swing her guitar, but then Dot shows up.)

Chevron: Oh! (tosses the guitar) "Dot, darling, I would air kiss you, but I don't want to smear my pre-smeared rockstar makeup."

Dot: "Chevron, I thought you were on Harvey Avenue doing a RightNow-O-Gram hat demo today? Not that I check your page daily."

Chevron: "Oh, Dot, after conquering all the highbrow spaces - fashion, modern art, designer cupcakes - I set forth to find a new world to bend to my will. And that's when I found punk rock."

Dot: "Really? Punk is lowbrow, and you are named 'Chevron'."

Chevron: "Lowbrow is the new highbrow. Now allow me to introduce Chevron and the Chevettes! Chevettes, pose time!"

(Lucretia and Penny walk in and pose, but Chevron  obscures their faces with her hair. Then Audrey and Lotta walk on stage)

Lotta: "Hey,  it's Harvey Street's Lucretia, and Harvey Avenue's Penny!"

Lucretia: "Actually, it's Chevette One now."

Penny: "And I'm Chevette Three... we don't talk about Chevette Two."

Chevron: "Chevettes don't chat. And where are your teal jackets?"

Lucretia: "But Miss Ron, teal isn't really my color."

Chevron: "Don't be cheeky, it's mine." (to the Harvey Girls) "Oh, you and your chumleys are welcome to watch us rage out."

Dot: "Actually-"

Audrey: "Ooh! You had me at rage!"

Lotta: "And you had me at chumleys!"

Chevron: "Okay, Chevettes, rage time." (small pause) NOW!

(Lucretia and Penny get into their places.)

Chevron:  ♫ Come on, come on, please be a pet''! And pledge allegiance to me and my Chevettes! ''♫

Dot: "Hang on. If you come forward, you will be in the light."

(Dot walks Lucretia out into  the light, but she gets pushed back by Chevron.)

Chevron: "Dot, luv, this is my band. I say when to hang on. Hang on. Something's off." (she unplugs Lucretia's amp, and puts a pillow ontop of Penny's drum set. Penny tries to play, but no sound comes out.) "Hmm, now it'll be a toodle-banger." (She starts singing "Je Suis Trop Cool" again,  but Dot unplugs her amp.)

Dot: "You cannot simply rule over everyone! You're a band, not a pop star!"

Chevron: "Dot, Dot, Dot, my dear ellipsis, this is how the best bands work. But if you've got a different method, I'd love to see it."

Dot: "Challenge accepted! Tomorrow, we will have a band that is better than yours!" (She angrily storms off.)

Chevron: "Oh, I didn't mean it like that, but, c'est la guerre! Now, wher was I...  ♫ Je suis trop cool pour l'anglais!  ♫"

Dot: "Can you believe her?!"

Lotta: "I know. Her band was already reviewed by Harvey Street Vegan. Gerald gave her a 7.24/10."

Dot: "We need to prove that there's a better way. And to do  that, we'll lead by example! But in our band, we'll all be in charge!